There’s a big controversy at the moment about bloggers and vloggers who get paid to promote products but who do not declare it (or, perhaps more often, do declare it but in what can easily be perceived as misleading ways). For the record: though I have been given a small number of books to review here, arguably the biggest favour I’ve ever returned is that of tactical silence, i.e. not posting a review at all when I really couldn’t comfortably say a good thing about the book.

But all the same, I must confess that there’s a tiny evil homunculus deep inside my psyche that secretly yearns – much as Britten’s Ploughboy dreamt of – to sell off my Ayes and Nos to the highest bidder. Though I’d never actually do such a thing, when certain objects contrive to present themselves before me, I do find my homunculus jumping up and down like crazy

La Buse Vanilla Rum

A few days back, I was delighted to stumble across a German drinks site offering a “La Buse” pirate-themed rum distilled in Réunion by J. Chatel S.A.R.L. [history here] (image from drinkology):

Here’s my translation of their effusively rum-soaked copy:

La Buse Vanilla Rum embodies rum’s typical character yet in a stylish way. A white rum from Réunion, it impresses with its clear line and simplicity: light and pleasantly sweet, it brings a summery feeling to your home. Indispensable for the bar and for the kitchen, it instantly refines desserts, cakes, drinks and cocktails. Drunk straight on the rocks, it refreshes the stomach and cools the head.

OK, I’m sold already. But the copywriter, clearly licking his or her lips in a very old-fashioned way, continues riffing on its ‘real vanilla’ USP:

La Buse Vanilla Rum has been flavored with real vanilla to make it unique. For gourmets, it is in great demand for use in high-end kitchens and is often used to add the ‘final touch’. Bright, clear and freshly fruity, it is particularly well-suited as a basis for great cocktails. The bottle is particularly elaborate and stylishly decorated, with a large picture of an old pirate reminiscent of the origins of rum: for old sailors and seasoned men would have lost all control at the sight of this noble drink. La Buse Vanilla Rum continues this tradition and would certainly have been a favorite drink of pirates and sailors. Anyone today who does not want to be able to drink tough sailors under the table would prefer not to drink it neat, because it is good and strong and heats the throat and stomach powerfully. And there’s no need to miss out on cold winter days, because a slug in your cup of black tea refines it splendidly.

Unfortunately…

However, before you get too excited, I should add that it seems that J. Chatel has stopped making this particular rum, which is a huge shame (particularly because I was going to order a case, in the interests of cipher research, of course). But I thought you’d like to see it anyway. 😉

7 thoughts on “Some pirate rum for your cup of tea, sir?

  1. A white rum from Réunion, it impresses with its clear line and simplicity: light and pleasantly sweet, it brings a summery feeling to your home.

    You can launder French through German and then again through English but it still comes out as French.

  2. Philip: AKA “dilute it all you you like, but it’s still basically grog”. 😉

  3. James R. Pannozzi on November 9, 2017 at 7:20 am said:

    Which brings us to a question of cosmic significance though I have been met by blank stares or quizzical looks of bemused indifference when asking at liquor stores.

    What is grog, what were the ingredients and is there anything on the market today remotely like it ?

    (If ANYONE knows, Nick will and it beats sifting through the conflicting and confusing morass of ads, misconceptions and fractured history likely to emanate from any “google” searches).

  4. Nick,
    My grog story for the year. Staying at a guesthouse in the Blue Mountains, we were recommended a Brown Bros. Tokay (I receive no benefit or remuneration for mentioning the brand name). I thought it a little expensive; price of a half bottle the same as a normal bottle of wine – but I liked it. Very much considering I’ve not much taste for alcohol at any time.

    But was impressed by that and decided to buy a few half-bottles for Christmas. Down in Sydney, no-one seemed to know of it, even the little international boutique-sort of wine seller. Finally called a big auction house. Nope. They continually offered me a flagon of port for the price I’d paid, seeming to rate Tokay and cheap port about the same. Hmnnn.

    Then another auction house… and he said ‘No’ too… before saying ‘Hang on…’ and finding he could get a single half bottle for me at a price which delighted me because it vindicated my impression of a superlative wine, and secondly because it showed that a great many other people – people able bathe in goats milk or champagne as they pleased… thought it a fine wine too.

    I expect the agent who seems to have assumed decimal points were none were printed when he delivered to the guesthouse will now be working in another industry. 🙂

  5. Only now the booze cipher makes sense to me.

  6. Thomas: well spotted, the whole “buzzard” thing never really made much sense. 😉

  7. James: ‘grog’ used to be the name for the watered-down rum continuously handed out to sailors on British Navy ships (very often with sugar and lime, keeping scurvy at bay but at the cost of dental decay), but has since ended up being a generic term for any rotgut alcoholic drink that you can point a trembling finger at.

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