For me, 2022 has been a long (and at times grueling) twelve months, as I’m sure it has been for many others. But even if (like me) you felt you’d aged a decade in a single year, here we now are, nearly at the end of it all.
And so all I can do is thank you for your comments, interest and support here, and even for your badinage, sledging and mildly self-defeating trollery. If I could buy you all a drink and toast your good health, I would.
My best wishes to you all, and here’s hoping for a better 2023!
Cheers, Nick Pelling
And to you, Nick!
I hope next year treats you better than this one.
Happy new year. And good luck at work. John.
What the Dickens, bah humbug where’s me mucking bike Santa?
Merry Merry from Can Tho Fellas & Gals. It’ll be a blue Christmas without you’se!
Merry Christmas Nick 🎄
Wishing you a lovely Christmas Nick, and a happy cipher solving new year.
Best wishes to you Nick, and all the Cipherians
I’m sorry 2022 has been a grind. You’ve certainly made it more interesting for many of us.
Thank you for your tireless blog admin. Here’s to more comments, interest and support, less trolling and some great badinage. Many thanks and wishing you many cipher adventures and successes ahead!
Cheers, Nick
All the best to you for the coming year.
Merry Christmas, all and Thank You, Nick!
Just as a mark of respect and seeing it’s the giving season, I’d like to suggest we club together and organise a special Christmas gift for The old [cheap generic bald insult], and I’m only too happy to start it off by chopping off a good length of my own silky blonde hair and mailing it to him, then a little glue and presto, he can be the hippy nerd he used to be.
Silky blonde Pete! Maybe back before the great flood, when the Gollan was still rocking… Nick doesn’t need your arm pit hair, dear. Just drop into Cut Loose, I’ll get you looking decent, even nerdy if that’s what appeals and I’ll tell you what I reckon that poor bloke was doing with six hankies and no socks. It’s obvious, no one uses hankies, but they don’t get rid of them either. That’s blokes for you Pete!
All I have to offer as my special gift contribution to the boss for Xmas this year is three inches of air space between the Webb boyo’s domes and a stocking full of Gordon’s fact based diddly squat for laughs..oh and yair, I expect GC might also like me to pass on his belated complements of the season ie., best of British loser.
Peteb: “I’m not bald, I get my hair cut this way”.
Nick Pelling: the tide went out a long time ago.
‘“When the tide goes out you discover who has been swimming naked”! Jeez, glad I picked up sunnies in the Boxing Day sales! My eyes are already sore, I’m getting too old for all this surfie sledging stuff! Calm down Pete! PS the Jones boys up at the farm do a great rendition of “It’s not unusual” if you ply them enough!
There was an old feller called Pelling
Who asked himself “What is that smelling?”
He said “It’s my site
It’s full up with shite
Not to mention the grammar and spelling”
@Linda,
There was once a young lad from Tralee
Who was stung on the neck by a wasp
When asked if it hurt
He said, “No not at all,
It can do it again if it likes”.
Another old hag from Sforzinda
[John guessed wrong here] Linda.
She played a fine game
[John guessed wrong here] name
So they chucked [nope] out of a winda!
Peteb: luckily my barber trained as a shoe-shine boy, so I do get an excellent polish.
NP: Hard to pin you down min, I assumed words like slut and bitch were pretty mild compared to the foul expletives used by Deni to slag a fine gal like Mariah yesterday. And there too goes my reputation as the master of retaliative smut.
John Sanders: yes, but you know better. 😋
There once was an egghead named Cramer
Who battled it out with the gamer
He shouted out “Frak!
You are on the wrong track
And If Bowes busts a gut I don’t blame ‘er!”
Wow man. I’ve just discovered your site! Dig! A gracious break from Coronation Street. Far out.
A Happy, Snappy New Year to you and all your readers. Except that icky John Sanders! Ew! What a drag. POS-IT-IVELY 4th Street baby. The rest of you are all Coolsville with a capital C. Especially that Linda Lady. Lay, Lady Linda, Lay, I say! Are you hip to her verse? What a cat! My wig EX-PLO-DED. Flipped right out into space. Unlike John Sanders’ limp effort. Ow! What a square! Talk about “Blowin’ in the Wind”. I had to pull my sky piece over my glims. Get in the GROOVE Daddio! And I don’t like you igging that Bob Nowak dude, Mr P. What a guy! We share a first name. I’m honored man! His rhyme was just outtasight. Make him your limey Poet Laureate A S A P! Let your freak flag fly Bob!
I have to have a go at a limerick. Well, Dad, I am a Nobel Prize winner. In LITERATURE! I’ll have to noodle somethin’ PLUS ONE. Somethin’ that will get Sanders blasting his jets. Phew! What a Cube! What a cheap creep! Used ta be a pig. Cop that brother! That Jeff spouts bull a mile a minute. Ugh! What’s his bag? BUM TRIP! He’s real gone. Don’t trust anyone over 30! Give peace a chance!
Now I’m strung out Pops. Let’s get on with my jingle Santa. A psychedelic psalm if you will. It’s about a wiped out space cadet from up Ballina way. Why does that Cramer boob think he’s a lady? Or is there something goin’ down there?
“There was an old surfie called Bowes
Who balanced his toes on the nose
He crashed into a boater
And swallowed a floater
Swimming back to the beach I suppose”
As for for Sanders I’ll go back to one of my old songs:
“And you know something’s happening
But you don’t know what it is
Do you, Mister S?”
OMG! Like I totally don’t believe it! Bob Dylan on Cipher Mysteries. I wouldn’t usually patronise this establishment (full of trolls, commies and worst of all John Sanders – he’s such a dweeb) but as soon as the Duchess of Bowes contacted me to tell me you were here I had to come on over. Don’t tell Her Ladyship, Bob, but I’ve got that fool completely “Under My Thumb” (as you so memorably put it in one of your fabulous songs) and doing everything at my bidding to bamboozle the punters into thinking there were TWO bodies in this case, one three inches shorter than the other ho ho ho!
Awesome Bob. Most Excellent! Like, uh, so many commenters here are totally gross. I even forgive you for calling me a boob. In fact I love you calling me a boob! You can smother me with boobs Bob. But if you want to feel “Good Vibrations” (one of your best numbers imho) pop over to my site. I’ve got like total proof that Somerton Man was actually a hermaphrodite. Remember Bob you heard it here first. You can tell by the size of his/her outer auricles, which I have studied with a telescope and measured to within the nearest billionth of a millimeter with my special “smart” tape measure which I bought off a wizard in Kansas. I used to put out a load of misinformation about micro writing and all that baloney, but that was just a ruse to blindside Sanders. Barf barf! Now I’ve got some poor souls thinking SM was Captain Pugwash’s old mucker Seaman Staines who served under Master Bates on the SS Golden Shower. Roger the Cabin Boy eh Bob? Tee hee hee. Suffering seagulls and blistering barnacles! My personal party piece is farting out the tune of the Trumpet Hornpipe whilst balancing a kipper on my nose. Tum-tiddly-tum-te-tum-te-tum-te-tiddly-tiddly-tum.
I’ll have to love you and leave you Bob as I have to go and work on my replica bust of the Somerton Man which I am making entirely from chicken bones, artificial holly twigs and wall putty. Ciao Bob baby!
Gordon Cramer: Hey there Flashman welcome to our troll friendly CM website and heartfelt complements of the season to both you, PeteDavo and all your fine BS/TS alters & anons. Hear tell that your SS Gulden Dusche von Scheisse is making heavy weather of it and taking a battering en route to Port Phillip via the Cape. Can just picture helmsman Carl Webb being up to his tanned thighs, missing eye teeth and big ears to the straining spreaders, still Keane on maintaining a steady course for Williamstown and home. So sad to hear that you seem to have lost coms with your old partner Derek Abbott though not to worry, many of our team, David Morgan, Sandra P. van….Jo Higginson etc., even DA’s old nemesis Pete Bowes are in regular contact with the Professor and so can keep you updated on all of the great man’s latest plottings…Best I get myself back to entertaining our CM muppets lest they become distracted. So much flotsam & jetsam for validating to keep ahead of other Keane punters in the ratings. Bon voyage & hasta la vista for your upcoming all expenses paid return to Somerton and lead role in the beach death reinactment.
dud: then stay clear of our shitty old belfry and try crawling up a rat’s arse which is more in keeping with your low self esteem.
I love it when I get the Colonel all fired up and he throws the toys out of the pram. LOL
Alright Ill have a go,
There was an old fart called Sanders
He loved posting juvenile slanders
His willy was small
So he tried to install
Some Taiwanese penis expanders
thedude747: nicely done, I couldn’t moderate even a word of that out without being scorned by the Muses.
Dud: not bad though nothing to rave over. We used to churn this shit out while smoking dope, popping pills (not me) and knocking down 33 bia at the old Saigon Cafe when we were not chasing after pussy (mostly me) back in the 90s. The rule was that we were not permitted to commence with dreary old crap ie., ‘There was….’ but more with it prepositions and adverbs like ‘If and but’ for example. Alas most of the wittiest polm gals & guys are sadly gone to the devil by now or, soon will be with luck.
If thedude be a rhymist or poet
Ain’t a soul on the planet would know it
He breaks all the rules and thinks we’re all fools
Yet when frustration takes hold he’ll soon show it
@JS I do not have contact with DA. In fact, he has been totally ignoring my interpretation of the cryptic note when I shoved it u… brought it to his attention. It may be a strategy in his race to try and solve the SM case all by himself. He even cunningly attempted to sow confusion by switching left from right in his latest SM FB picture post. Unfortunately his own poetry-based deciphering, love-baby and balletdancing leads were fruitless.
It’s nice to see everyone having so much fun!
Just popped in to wish you all a very Happy New Year and all the best for 2023!
Nick
You seem to have hoped in vain that the “mildly self-defeating trollery” you must silently suffer and deplore would cease. Instead it has broken out like a rash since your Yuletide message – much better than “King” Charles’ (or ‘king Charles as he is known round here) I might add. Sanders, Nowak and Sandra seem particularly noisome. Perhaps they are all the same person? [Moderator: they’re all different people]
Be assured that some of us still worship the ground you walk on. Or should I say fragrantly hover over. Are you aware that you can easily and confidently send your (British) readers a drink via numerous online companies? I’ll have a bottle of 1989 Chateau Petrus if you are feeling generous. E-mail me and I’ll give you my address. I’m sure you can afford it with all your gaming royalties.
Hearty best wishes for 2023!
@Ann O – I am not John Sanders or Nowak and I strongly suggest you take back that slanderous accusation, immediately.
@Nick Pelling – I request for the defamation of my person as uttered by “Ann O” above, to be removed from this site per immediately.
Ann O: alas, the only messages I get from Steam all begin:
So your wait for a drop of Chateau Petrus is likely to continue for a while yet, alas. 🙁
@ Everyone,
In the written message of “Ann O” as published by Nick Pelling above, it has been suggested that I am the same person as John Sanders who has been trolling contributors of this blog for quite a while. I am not that person and do not wish to be associated with any of such behaviour. The defamatory accusation published by Nick Pelling is untrue and likely to cause harm or tarnish my reputation, which sort of action is a legal and criminal offence.
Since the moderator of this blog Nick Pelling condones this and does not seem to be willing to take down these accusations, after repeated written requests thereto from my side, I will leave this blog upon consideration of further actions.
It is a shame it has come to this.
Sandra: I edited the comment to say:
Hopefully all you need to do is refresh your web-page and this should appear. I agree that the thought of being confused with any of those rascally reprobates would be unsettling.
@Sandra
I take it all back Sarah.
Someone is impersonating Sanders. I spotted a coherent sentence in one of “his” posts recently. And I don’t think “Sandra” would use a phrase like “Unfortunately his [Abbott’s] own poetry-based deciphering, love-baby and balletdancing leads were fruitless.” over on another thread either since she’s a nice well brought up Dutch lady. So someone is impersonating her too.
As for Nowak we have a history (not a good one) but I do know he wouldn’t stand for any such nonsense. I don’t recommend impersonating him as he is a cad, a knave and a blackguard and you don’t know what he might do.
Whoever YOU are you are a rancorous old witch!
@Nick
A 21 year old Ardbeg would do.
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts
We’d all have a Merry Christmas
If Sanders keeps spilling his putrid old guts
We’ll all kick him up the isthmus
Sandra-Sanders? : it shall be with a heavy hearts and grave trepidation that we must face this coming year of uncertainty without your cheeky humour and ever cheery persona, to guide us through into the unknown. I for one intend doing my utmost to insure your legacy lives on long after your gone; And that your gallant and defiant stance against the norms is instilled into others of our kind who dare to challenge outmoded convention, so enstilling hope for better outcomes and a brighter future for all…So sorry to hear that you feel let down by our Admin and to think I may have somehow been partly responsible for your decision to leave CM. I’m all broke up and will miss you like crazy. Bon chance little Dutch girl and don’t take it to hard….I promise I’ll try not to!
Sandra, you have no recourse to the law either criminal or civil. I can assure you that from long experience. Nowak’s crap about hate speech is similarly asinine. The reason you don’t like it here is because nobody listens to your stupid, shitty theories about the code. The code which isn’t a code. Have a happy New Year my little babette.
I wonder whether Bob Dylan will join The Band of Cipherians for this New Year’s Eve! And whether he will regale us with some New Year’s resolutions!!
Here’s a quick preview:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nluiApeNWKI
Happy New Year everyone!
@Gordon Cramer
Hey man! I just saw your unreal spiel and get this brother- I wrote ‘Good Vibrations’. Don’t crap in MY sandpit buddy! Don’t blow chunks in MY slippers punk! A cease and desist order will be winging its way to ya if I read any more scurrilous lies like that, ya scumbag. Got it Mr C?
@Bob D
Hi there Bob. Long time no see. Joni phoned ya but she said ya ain’t answering her calls. Do the right thing man and give the poor lady a break. Otherwise I’ll send Mike Love round and then ya’ll wanna top y’self. Loved that bit about Lay, Lady Linda, Lay, in your post Bob, but to be serious for a moment it’s Lynda with a Y in the song. Al wrote that one anyways. Phew! Me and the boys are havin’ a luau to welcome in the New Year. Dig those resolutions man!
@Everyone
Wow! I just luv this SITE! Can y’all get with that? Jeez. Wot’s up with these trolls guys? Personally I have nuthin’ to do with goblins, gnomes, elves and the like. Well, not since 1986 anyway.
Man, I’ve been inspired to write a new song. Hope y’all like it.
“Let’s all go down to Somerton, let’s all hit the beach
We’ll have to have a toke or two, in fact we’ll have one each
Nick will drive the Kombi Van, let’s hope he don’t get lost
Might end up in Henley Beach if he gets his wires crossed
We’ll let Sanders take the bus, to help with our morale
If he needs a new timetable then we’ll call up milongal
The girls in their bikinis, Poppins. Pat and Jo
The boys all in their speedos, No! No! No!
If we need some music, we’ll bring out Mr Morgan
And he’ll let Sandra whatsername blow on his mighty organ
(Harmonica, perhaps, would be the truly proper word)
And when the tune is over we’ll all wonder what we heard
Who’s that playing on the sand, is that the Beaumont kiddies?
No, it’s just Gordon Cramer and a couple of old biddies
Behrooz will read some Persian verse to dazzle and enlighten
Stuff the Rubaiyat we’ll say, just give us Enid Blyton
Who’s that fella hanging ten and waving out at sea?
It must be good old Bowes we cry, or is it just a flea?
We need the Hubble telescope to tell the flippin’ diff’rence
Without it we remain in doubt and clouded in our ign’rance
We’ll paddle in St Vincent’s Gulf, we’ll stroll to Noarlunga
We’ll heist somebody’s hot rod, and then satisfy our hunger
Kentucky Fried for everyone, served up by the Colonel
Finger lickin’ fun for all, our thanks will be eternal
We’ll groove on up to Moseley Street, and call at 90a
We’ll also pop to 105, to watch the sparrows play
Then it’s off to Jetty Road for a pasty from ol’ Wenzel’s
We’ll jot down some phone numbers with our newly sharpened pencils
Let’s cycle down the Esplanade and see where Charlie snuffed it
Let’s crack the code and laugh out loud cos poor old Abbott fluffed it
We’ll have to humour milongal and count all the bus shelters
From Hindley Street to Glenelg town, but then we’ll look up Feltus
“Tamam Shud” we’ll all cry out, It’s ended, finished, over
We’ve solved the case and now thank God we’re one and all in clover
But first we’ll grab the Colonel and we’ll chuck him in the drink
Let’s hope he f***in’ drowns we’ll shout, cos it’s either swim or sink”
,
If you’re up at Tamarama for the the gremmie surfers meet,
You may chance upon a bleached blond name of Bowsie Wowsie Pete.
Wears a pair of striped old baggies and odd jandals that don’t match,
Always with his woody hangin’ loose and perving on the snatch.
Oh Johnno
I detect a note of contrition there! I will also be very sad to see Sandra go, she has been a persistent and original contributor. Have you noticed that there are fewer and fewer women on these SM threads?
Meanwhile, there is a bit of action at Werribee Park today, which is the venue for the Let Them Eat Cake Festival, Papa Smurf and DJ Koze are whipping the young crowd up, looking for your spot. Moxie had them looking for your train and now they all want what you’re having!
https://ltecnyd.com/
Bowesie: just been over checking on the talent at PA’s SM face saver page. Spotted some mongrel using your name to post crap re solar effects on hair colour change. Any of these numb nuts ever hear of Marvolin bleach? must all be Poms and as for ‘….. happy little vegemites .. …… .. …… … ..’ no appearance Your Worship….’cepting of course for our CM plants er um secondments.
Brian Wilson, what a delightful and witty song you’ve written there, well done, good on ya.
Jo: did they really say “gorpcore”? That’s so… 2019.
@ Nick – this is Australia! Which is why I had no hesitation in thinking that the Webbs might still be sporting 20s fashions in the hard bitten 30s…
I have no problem with young people channeling 2019, I wish I’d realised at the time just how good it all was, before those little raccoon dogs went to a certain market and Vladimir decided to take on Vlodymyr.
Meanwhile I’m sitting here on New Year’s Day eve:
Where have you gone, my green haired son?
Where have you gone, my darling young one?
And have you got your wet weather festival poncho with you?
When do you think Steve’s going to treat us to some Siouxsie Sioux or Nico themed commentary? His Bob Dylan has smatterings of brilliance! The biggest Somerton Man mysteries right now are when will SAPOL make an announcement? And where will the commenters take thing next?!!
Jo: Thing. Could that be a rare typo on your part or, are you refering to the Addams family non entity? I agee wholeheartedly, Bob Dylan (sans Zimmerman) has a touch of brillance..sort off!!!
@ “Ballf[*]69”: go wear a tutu 🙄
What is impressive is the Webb family and Robertson family were frequently in the media. Perhaps it is those types of families that also have the biggest rises and falls – resulting in Carl having to develop a complicated plot to end his existence.
We don’t know what tales he told his family before his exit at Adelaide. They may have believed he was off on some sea voyage with a big beard and then changed his appearance. His flight to Cottesloe to avoid Dorothy, perhaps. She may have been the cruel wife and it might explain why her own family wanted nothing to do with her. Geoffrey Lockyer may have fell for her distressed woman plot until he became the target. Since Lockyer had built a new house did he keep it or did he too run away back to ‘home’ leaving her with the new house?
David – the experts of the CI were all unanimous of the opinion that Carl was poisoned when he was found by the sea, and not by ingestion or injection. Or could it have been a form of decompression sickness. Toxicology reports of the forensic experts hopefully will give some conclusive answer in the near future.
In between journeys of several months, sea men may travel over land from one port to the other to board the next ship. They will carry a suitcase with them during their travel. And who knows, maybe Carl worked as a sea man before his marriage too. The sea lures 😉