Though technically they’re probably not in cipher (rather, they’re almost certainly three wobbly dictionary codes), they definitely form an historical mystery: and even today, the Beale Papers’ promise of 19th century treasure continues to inspire people to borrow a distant cousin’s mini-diggers and covertly dig implausible holes not too far from where Buford’s Tavern once stood. Which is, of course, both foolish and most likely illegal, so don’t expect me to condone anything like that for a microsecond.

What I’m far happier to praise is Andrew S. Allen’s animation “The Thomas Beale Cipher”, which I’ve already mentioned a few times along the way. Anyway, now that its tour of independent film festivals is (presumably) over, Allen’s very generously placed a copy of his film on the web right here for all to see (but expand it to full screen for best effect). You should be pleased to hear it doesn’t offer a faux solution (how gauche that would be) or even the pretense of a clunky explanation, but just the lightest touch of 1940s G-man cryptological paranoia amidst a glorious barrage of vintage textiles. Oh, and a nice brass-section soundtrack too. Go and have a look: I think you’ll like it a lot! 🙂

Even though things are pretty quiet here in Cipher Mysteries Mansions, there’s still a backlog of minor Voynichiana to deal with. Wish me luck, here goes…

  1. Here’s a Russian-language 2010 ‘Internet Edition’ facsimile of the Voynich Manuscript. Might end up cheaper than the Gawsewitch edition, who knows?
  2. Here’s a webcomic from 2003 where the artist (David Morgan) draws the frames, people suggest text, and he loosely merges them together into something. Merely a bit of Voynich name-dropping, nothing as contrived as XKCD etc.
  3. Here’s a logo inspired by mixing up Voynichese and pictures of neutron stars (love the brief). What’s particularly nice is that the artist included all his inbetween sketches (so you can see why only one Voynichese letter made it through to the end). Just so you know, it was for a “group of what might be best described as soldier/mailcarriers in a science fiction erotica novel“. Yeah, we get a lot of those in Surbiton (probably in The Victoria, I suspect), they also need logos to distinguish themselves. (Note: the site can be a bit slow to load, but it normally gets there in the end).
  4. Another music track named “Voynich” for your MP3 collection.

Here’s something you don’t see every day: an online comic with a Voynich tattoo gag. The Owl House’s theme is “problem solving and paranormal investigation“, which are apparently (take note, Scooby Doo fans) “not mutually exclusive“.

Of course, until we can actually read the VMs, the real problem with having a Voynichese tattoo is that – unlike “Mum” or “I ♥ Chantelle” – it might be saying just about anything. Imagine finding out that your prized “otedy dal daiin cheey” tattoo translates to “Lick My Hairy Butt”… perhaps it would be better to stick to a dolphin instead, eh? 🙂

I think that there will always be films based around codes because they give screenwriters such an “easy in”. Just saying “code” conjures up…

  • Dark secrets (e.g. heresy undermining The Church, free energy undermining The Market, occult powers, any old stuff really)
  • Powerful interests (usually multiple conspiracies fighting each other behind the scenes for control of ‘The Secret’)
  • A central McGuffin that is small enough to be concealed, smuggled and fought over in hand-to-hand combat in an implausible (often underground) location
  • Highly motivated central character(s) who, though technically prepared for the challenge, rapidly find themselves out of their depth in every other sense
  • (and so on)

Do you need to know much more than the title to construct the film poster? No wonder film companies like codes so much! I’m immediately reminded of Mercury Rising (which I saw again recently, and sort-of enjoyed), but also the 2010’s The 7th Dimension which is just being premiered. Personally, I tend to avoid films where any of the main characters are billed as “hackers” like the plague, but then again that might be because I’m a computer programmer by trade – if I was a dentist, perhaps I’d have done the same for Marathon Man, who knows? 🙂

Anyhow… an historical cipher-themed film I’m genuinely looking forward to is The Thomas Beale Cipher, a short animated film by Andrew S. Allen that has already premiered and should be out on the international festival circuit during the rest of 2010. Details are (probably deliberately) sketchy right now (for example, the YouTube sampler video for the film has been withdrawn), but there is a Facebook page to whet your appetite a little – I’ll let you know of any screening dates.

Not quite so high on my list of upcoming historical code films to look for is The Ancient Code, to be distributed by Warner Brothers. This has apparently been in production for a couple of years, and gives every impression – from the fairly PR-centric set of materials on the website – of being a set of talking heads talking their heads off about different aspects of holism, surrounded by faux-psychedelic video editing effects. It’s true that the film-makers have  assembled a fairly, well, eclectic set of heads to do their talking thang: but it’s hard to see how Nick Pope, Tim Wallace-Murphy, Philip Gardiner, and even Johnny Ball (the former children’s TV presenter who you may recall attracting some criticism in late 2009 for his particularly colourful denial of climate change) amount to a gigantic hill of gravitas re ancient wisdom and codes concealed through the ages. But all the same, I’ll continue to try hard to swim against the tide of unconvincingness the film seems to be sweating from every pore, so wish me luck in that endeavour. 🙂

And finally… clicking onwards from The Ancient Code’s not-so-ancient website leads us neatly to Philip Gardiner’s upcoming The James Bond Code, which struggles valiantly to connect Ian Fleming’s (anti)hero James Bond with alchemy and gnosis (apparently via voodoo and numerology). There’s even a fan music video based on the book, which frankly even I’m struggling to grasp any kind of rationale for. Doubtless there’s some kind of film optioning angle going on here too. Honestly, would anyone apart from a rather fevered PR hack call this “The Thinking Man’s Da Vinci Code“? [Nope, not a hope, sorry.] But all the same, there you have it, so feel free to add it (or not) to your own personal list of, errm, ‘hysterical historical hypotheses’, along with Gavin Menzies’ 1421 & 1434, Edith Sherwood’s “Leonardo da Vinci wrote the Voynich Manuscript” theory, etc.

I used to quite like Peanuts as a kid, though looking back I’d be hard-pressed to say which of the characters I particularly identified with. Perhaps identifying with characters is more of an adult way of relating to cultural objets d’art: I think I just liked the jokes.

Of course, nothing in the following badly-hacked Peanuts cartoon is anything to do with you, you understand, dear Cipher Mysteries reader: as with the hacked Garfield-does-Voynich strip, it’s just a bunch of asemic words arranged in speech bubbles beside someone else’s copyrighted images. So feel completely free to make of it precisely what you will. Enjoy!

Most of the tenuous (yet culturally interesting) sideways links to cipher mysteries that ping on my 20-screen bank of monitors are to relatively low-brow stuff – airport novels, films, neat 3d renders using Voynichese fonts, etc. Furthermore, they tend (with only a few honourable exceptions) to be fairly po-faced (and unsexy) The-Mismatched-Protagonists-Must-Battle-Against-An-Infinitely-Resourced-Ancient-Conspiracy-To-Save-The-World-As-We-Know-It-By-Decoding-An-Even-More-Ancient-Ciphertext pap. Which is quite sad, really.

So it is with a great sense of relief that I read about a bit of light-hearted sexual cryptography from French novelist George Sand (the pen-name of Amantine Aurore Lucile Dupin, 1804-1876). Sand dressed like a man (which was scandalous), smoked tobacco in public (which was also scandalous), and apparently conducted affairs with both sexes (which was… well, you work it out).

Here’s an enciphered letter she wrote to Alfred de Musset (just to make it absolutely clear, I’ve put her hidden message in bold letters):-

je suis très émue de vous dire que j’ai
bien compris l’autre soir que vous aviez
toujours une envie folle de me faire
danser. je garde le souvenir de votre
baiser et je voudrais bien que ce soit
là une preuve que je puisse être aimée
par vous. je suis prête à montrer mon
affection toute désintéressée et sans cal-
cul, et si vous voulez me voir aussi
vous dévoiler sans artifice mon âme
toute nue, venez me faire une visite.
nous causerons en amis, franchement.
je vous prouverai que je suis la femme
sincère, capable de vous offrir l’affection
la plus profonde comme la plus étroite
en amitié, en un mot la meilleur preuve
que vous puissiez rêver, puisque votre
âme est libre. pensez que la solitude ou j’ha-
bite est très longue, bien dure et souvent
difficile. ainsi, en y songeant j’ai l’âme
grosse. accourez donc vite et venez me la
faire oublier par l’amour ou je veux me
mettre.

Musset replied in the same cryptographic (and amorous) spirit:-

quand je mets à vos pieds un éternel hommage,
voulez vous qu’un instant je change de visage ?
vous avez capturé les sentiments d’un cœur
que pour vous adorer forma le créateur.
je vous chéris, amour, et ma plume en délire
couche sur le papier ce que je n’ose dire.
avec soin de mes vers lisez les premiers mots :
vous saurez quel remède apporter à mes maux
je suis très émue de vous dire que j’ai …..

Sand then replied…

Cette insigne faveur que votre cour réclame
Nuit à ma renommée et répugne mon âme.

Sadly, these days Sand’s relationship with Alfred de Musset may well be better known by pop fans, as former Eurovision Song Contest winning performer Celine Dion used the text of a 1834 letter from Sand to de Musset as the basis for one of her songs. But put all the pieces together and… wouldn’t it be just, well, wonderful if it turned out that Dion’s earnestly romantic bleatings were just Sand’s covertext for a gloriously ribald hidden sexual message? Perhaps someone will dig up a scan of the original letter and we can have a look…

And so it all spins back round to low culture again: sorry, that’s just the way these things seem to work. 🙁

A few days back, two small book-shaped things arrived in the post: and I’ve been pondering what to say about them ever since. In fact, I’ve been struggling to work out what I think about them… you’ll see what I mean in a moment.

You might superficially compare them with, for example, Luigi Serafini’s famously unreadable book: however, I have relatively little doubt that, beneath all its overevolved, madly-mutated faux-alien language tropes, Codex Seraphinianus does actually express some kind of coherent linguistic knot that might ultimately be untied, whereas Michael Jacobson’s “asemic” books claim to be actively meaningless. That is, while they play with the form of narrative and abstract expressive shape, they don’t actually say anything – any kind of meaning you take away from them is your problem (or, conversely, your gift).

Perhaps the right way to classify them, then, is as some kind of visual anti-poetry, a kind of Dada take on the postmodernist anti-meaning turn. Which is to say: if all texts are ultimately meaningless in themselves (and only incidentally form meaning in the reader’s mind), then why are you surprised that these books are too?

Alternatively, perhaps there is actually a hidden higher-level message, so that if you turn the pages upside down and squint your eyes in just the right way, what emerges is something along the lines of “The Magic Words are Squeamish Ossifrage“, etc. So, a good part of the fun is working out whether there’s a joke (and if there is, whether it’s on you).

Whatever your particular take happens to be, I think you can still enjoy them purely on their own visual merits: for all their (claimed) lack of meaning, Michael’s two books do jump with a refreshingly jazz-like joy:-

  1. Action Figures (which seems to have started life in an exercise book) is, I would say, the weaker of the pair: I get the impression of an early youth (mis)spent with a spray can, trying as a young man to give expression to the same basic urges, but channelling them within structural rules (such as minimizing shape repetition, consistency of line, etc). Neat, but Mayan street-whimsical rather than obviously challenging.
  2. The Giant’s Fence is, by comparison, a far more sophisticated objet d’art, even if it is apparently influenced by Max Ernst’s Maximiliana. Here, Jacobson seems to have developed a confidence with his medium that lets him play not only with the interior calligraphic form but also with the structural rules within which they live. Shapes, gaps, multi-line things gradually intrude into the overall text-like flow, their waxing and waning presences driven by a subtly astrological metronome, where the passage of time from page to page has a enjoyably slow, quasi-geological feel. All in all, a nicely done piece that hints that Jacobson has more to come.

You can download your own free copy of Action Figures from the Literate Machine website here, though you’ll have to pay a princely £2.99 to download your own Lulu-ized copy of The Giant’s Fence.

Personally, I see asemic writing (the overall category in which these books live) as sitting on quite a different table to cipher/language mysteries, so I’m not hugely sympathetic to the suggestion that (for example) the Codex Seraphinianus, the Phaistos Disc, or the Voynich Manuscript are themselves asemic. However, it is certainly true that people project all kinds of bizarre historical narratives onto these, to a degree to which asemic writers can only faintly aspire: perhaps such vicariously vivid visions ultimately form a family of warped interpretational artworks all their own, a kind of semantic complement to asemic writing. “Asemic reading”, perhaps?

I’ve just got back from an enjoyable working holiday in Taiwan, marred only (courtesy of a certain Icelandic volcano) by a detour to Frankfurt and an insanely long coach/ferry journey back to the UK. During that time, my only exposure to ciphers was through China Airlines’ numerous on-demand seat-back films and documentaries: but rather than bore you with my take on Avatar (“Titanic meets The Abyss in a blue paint factory“), here are my thoughts on another film…

Continuing a centuries-long novelistic tradition, film-makers often construct their tortuous plots around enciphered and/or occult texts, particularly when wishing to shorthand a bit of high-speed visual mystery in. Guy Ritchie (the Artist Formerly Known As “Mr Madonna”) proves no exception to this rule of thumb: his “Sherlock Holmes”, painted against a backdrop of Victorian London while its new Tower Bridge was being built, has an inevitably evil protagonist putting the town to fear while taking control of a (you guessed it) centuries-old shadowy masonic cabal through the careful use of theatrical rituals, rhododendron leaf recipes, and occult manuscripts. Oh, and a gigantic steampunk bomb thing, too.

sherlock-holmes-still-small

With Ritchie’s Lock/Snatch editing trickery and Holmes transformed into an opiate-free fighting man (using the little known British martial art of ‘bartitsu’, which fans of Sammo Huang may recognize as “walking-stick fu”), there’s plenty of good-ish stuff to keep the screen busy. But ultimately the film is a shallow confection, even compared to Lock & Snatch: Jude Law is just too dull for Watson, while Robert Downey Jr reminded me again and again of Kevin Rowland (co-founder of Dexy’s Midnight Runners) which I’m not really sure is a good thing, however much you like “Come on Eileen”.

Still, if you scrape away all the surface dross (including Holmes’ rather contrived love interest), you do get occasional glimpses of a slightly better story trying to get out – fearfulness and wonder about the technology of the coming (20th) century, the occult as a tool for masking political power (rather than for masking natural powers), etc. It also has to be said that Ritchie’s various clue-tastic high-speed montages do give a surprisingly good feel for the kind of Holmesian intellectual rush Voynich researchers sometimes get when a load of details finally assemble themselves together: basically, when knowledge of real substance somehow forms from the dust-cloud of evidential fragments swirling around you.

Even so, the film as a whole only really convinces as an extended advert for the blatantly upcoming Holmes vs Moriarty sequels. In fact, Professor James Moriarty only ever featured prominently in two Sherlock Holmes stories, so there’s only obviously room for SH II and SH III. Some critics will already be ready to append a “T” to these, perhaps a little unfairly (though not by much).